operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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