Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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