My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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