I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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