Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
