is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
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I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
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Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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