did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
