I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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