glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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