I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
