told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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