another moral hangover. fuck.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
