Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
