Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
did you just send me my own nude
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize