I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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