I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's shark week go big or go home
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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