So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
no you cant smoke seaweed
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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