U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
