I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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