Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
