All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
