he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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