cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
