Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
