I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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