Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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