I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Randomize
