In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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