My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
