Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
