i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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