Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
