She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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