Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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