dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
