The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
