I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
