I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He kissed a someone with a penis
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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