Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
