So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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