Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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