Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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