I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
