I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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