I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
