Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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