i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
