Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
