Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
