Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
