I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
