if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
