walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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