I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
