Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
