You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
