i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
