so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
