I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize