there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
