I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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