Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think a kid would responsible me up
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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