What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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