I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
