My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
