Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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