So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
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is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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