You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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