Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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