He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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