Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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