I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
