I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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