We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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