Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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