I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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