So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
