oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
