I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
don't judge my taste in strippers
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
